Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Newly transformed chapter one

Those of you that know me, know I have been working hard on revamping my book. Of course chapter one has been worked and re-worked for two weeks now, and that has lead me to sleepless nights, and power editing! Then I receive a book I ordered called the Fire in Fiction and decide I still have work to do. This is the never ending cycle of a writer, especially a new one like me.

I went to a conference, I read about your first page and action, and about your first 50 pages. I talked with family, friends and co-authors, and still I feel I have work to do. No, I know you can't please everybody, but I really want my book to be the best that I can do! So I have decided to add a little more richness to my characters in hopes that it is not to much detail. I would love your thoughts on this. I am going to post a few paragraphs from my new chapter one in hopes for opinions from my blogger friends.

Stevie threw her hands against the dashboard to keep from slamming forward as the Ford truck roared into the driveway, sliding sideways on the gravel and spitting rock behind them. She turned to Jeremy, but he refused to look at her; choosing instead to glare out the windshield. Despite her efforts and the seatbelt, she was still flung forward when he came to a skidding halt.
            “It’s just the way it is, Jeremy,” the athletic blonde said, cautiously releasing her death grip on the dashboard. “I already have plans that night.”
            “You could break them,” he growled between clenched teeth.
            “I don’t want to. The Wild Earth Guardians only have two fundraisers a year and I promised I would run the donations table.”
            Fixing her with a fierce look, his strong jaw tightened. “So a bunch of mangy dogs, smelly hippies, and losers are more important them me?”
            “With that ‘ttude? Yes.” Stevie got out of the truck, slamming the door hard. Without a glance backwards, she stormed up the porch steps. The sounds of squealing tires and engine gunning followed her into the house. Closing the door behind her she said, “Good riddance to bad rubbish.”

Now what I need to know is first, does it have enough action so you want to continue reading and second should I add any more thoughts from her, so you know more about her? That is my dilemma. I need to have the action, but still something about my main character. Please give me your thoughts on this.

Love, Lisa  

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