It seems like the closer this gets to sending it out, the more I'm uptight. I am trying to relax, but this is something I have worked towards for so long. It has a hold of me. I am hoping my husband rubs my shoulders tonight, I need it!
There is a positive note though. I wrote a poem to put in the front of my book about the Djen. I thought I would put it here on the blog and get your take on it. It won't hurt my feelings if you don't like it. I would rather have the truth than embarrass myself by publishing it if it sucks. If you like it, let me know too. I haven't written a poem for about 30 years, so it might need work.
The
Djen
The cool night
air blowing
Leaves danced in
its breeze
A backdrop of
moonlight
Peeked through
the trees
A glimpse of a sentry
A watcher prone
The hint of a
beacon
A familiar glow
The ancient
protector
A calm in the
night
Blue beam of
comfort
A trick of light
A blink of an
eye
A trail of smoke
The glow
dissipates
A prophecy unfolds...
Well there you have it. I hope you drop me a line and give me your take on it. In the mean time, I have to still get ready for Christmas. My house still needs cleaned, ( I did manage one room so far) and I have to shop for presents and go to the grocery store too. I might manage to be ready when 17 people show up to my house on Christmas eve, we'll see.
I hope that everyone has a Happy holiday season and I pray that we have a prosperous new year. Take care everyone and don't forget to drop me a line!
Love, Lisa
So you'll get it out before the new year. Good for you.
ReplyDeleteThe poem is great, but I have one question (although it works for me), All the other stanzas rhyme. Did you intentionally write the last stanza without a rhyme?
I hope your book is a great success!
Well, it originally said a wish foretold, but the Djen in my book are not typical genies. They have a prophecy, maybe a prophecy foretold, would that sound better? Not much rhymes with smoke! Anyway I'm glad you like it!
DeleteLove It! But, of course, I'd say that. :)
ReplyDeleteWe're close, sis! We're close!
Yup, well what do you think about the comments? You think i need to change it?
DeleteTry it in couplets and see what you think... also some punctuation. I like the gist but I think it needs slight alteration in the stanza department. SORRY... pls don't delete me and have a fantastic Christmas!
ReplyDeleteLOL! I would never delete you, and I appreciate honesty! I will worry about punctuation, the rest I need to see what you mean!
DeleteOkay, saw what couplets are, no I don't think so. It wouldn't have the same effect.
Delete