
There is a positive note though. I wrote a poem to put in the front of my book about the Djen. I thought I would put it here on the blog and get your take on it. It won't hurt my feelings if you don't like it. I would rather have the truth than embarrass myself by publishing it if it sucks. If you like it, let me know too. I haven't written a poem for about 30 years, so it might need work.
The cool night
air blowing
Leaves danced in
its breeze
A backdrop of
moonlight
Peeked through
the trees
A glimpse of a sentry
A watcher prone
The hint of a
beacon
A familiar glow
The ancient
protector
A calm in the
night
Blue beam of
comfort
A trick of light
A blink of an
eye
A trail of smoke
The glow
dissipates
A prophecy unfolds...
Well there you have it. I hope you drop me a line and give me your take on it. In the mean time, I have to still get ready for Christmas. My house still needs cleaned, ( I did manage one room so far) and I have to shop for presents and go to the grocery store too. I might manage to be ready when 17 people show up to my house on Christmas eve, we'll see.

Love, Lisa
So you'll get it out before the new year. Good for you.
ReplyDeleteThe poem is great, but I have one question (although it works for me), All the other stanzas rhyme. Did you intentionally write the last stanza without a rhyme?
I hope your book is a great success!
Well, it originally said a wish foretold, but the Djen in my book are not typical genies. They have a prophecy, maybe a prophecy foretold, would that sound better? Not much rhymes with smoke! Anyway I'm glad you like it!
DeleteLove It! But, of course, I'd say that. :)
ReplyDeleteWe're close, sis! We're close!
Yup, well what do you think about the comments? You think i need to change it?
DeleteTry it in couplets and see what you think... also some punctuation. I like the gist but I think it needs slight alteration in the stanza department. SORRY... pls don't delete me and have a fantastic Christmas!
ReplyDeleteLOL! I would never delete you, and I appreciate honesty! I will worry about punctuation, the rest I need to see what you mean!
DeleteOkay, saw what couplets are, no I don't think so. It wouldn't have the same effect.
Delete