Monday, March 25, 2013

The Blurb

It really is amazing all the steps there is to getting a book ready for publishing. Take for instance, the blurb on the back of the book. We worked on this Saturday and I thought I would post it on here to get your take on it.

I am hoping that you like it and it will make you want to read about Stevie's journey. I would love to get your feedback. Any and all comments are welcome since this is my first blurb and I want to do it right.

Growing up in Golden, Colorado, Stevie Barrett lived an ordinary life. Nothing remarkable happened in Golden, or to her, other than having been adopted and the odd birthmark on her right shoulder blade. That is, until just before her high school graduation. That’s when things began to get weird.

She notices a strange being watching her, hidden in shadow. Her mom is attacked by men with glowing gold eyes. Stevie starts having waking visions of a world and a people unknown to her. If that isn’t enough to freak out the average eighteen-year-old, Stevie accidently heals a stranger with a touch. As new abilities surface, she learns that a group known as the Rebellion want to take her life. Most startling yet, is the discovery that she is something other than human and her destiny is to save two worlds from total destruction.

In order to save herself and everyone she loves, Stevie must embrace her birthright, learn to use and control her powers, and ultimately accept exile.

Let me know what you think. If it needs more punch, or has enough. Whatever it is, I want to know.

Thanks for your support all! See you on Thursday!

Love, Lisa

11 comments:

  1. There was only one book blurb I ever got right, and that's for the book I haven't even published yet ...

    Well, the tense is right. Blurbs are in present tense. I think some begin in past tense as yours does here, but I can't remember the last time I saw one. Then again, I have such a long to-read list, I can't remember the last time I actually read a blurb. I should probably get to that again.

    The only thing that really bothers me is the "average eighteen-year-old" remark. I see this a lot in fiction. "So and so was your average/ordinary ." And it's never right, is it? Because they're extraordinary.

    The "ultimate accept exile" also has me mildly confused.

    I was originally going to suggest using "unintentionally" instead of "accidentally," but then I reconsidered. The current word choice carries with it that aspect of it happening suddenly and unexpectedly, which most certainly works.

    Though perhaps "... a world and people unknown to her." I'm just throwing out ideas as I hear them in my head.

    At any rate, definitely good for a first blurb. I'd sleep on it, obviously. There's plenty of time to revise it if you're unsatisfied with it. Heaven knows I'll be updating my blurbs long before I put my books into print.

    Since you seem to have the whole Chosen One archetype going, you might want to revisit some other Chosen One books to see their blurbs: Harry Potter, Ender's Game, Eragon, The Hunger Games, The Lord of the Rings, Percy Jackson and the Olypmians.

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  2. That's a good idea Ryan, although I did visit the Harry Potter one's it might not be a bad idea to check out some more. I do think it needs more work. I will do that tomorrow when I get back together with my sister and tap her thoughts too. Thanks for the comment and ideas!

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  4. Yes, I agree that it needs more work. I'm sorry I can't be more specific than that right now - great first draft, though! After you've revised it and are satisfied with the final version, I'd be happy to give it a quick edit.

    Warmly,
    Susan

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    1. That's great Susan! As soon as we finish it, hopefully this week, I'll send it to you! Thanks!

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  5. Looks fine to me Lisa! :) I agree with the comment regard "average" but not sure how to get around it gracefully. The one phrase I have some reservations about is this : "the discovery that she is something other than human."

    Being familiar with the story I have to admit that technically that's true, but if I was reading the back of a book and trying to decide whether to buy it, I'd simply take that as likely meaning that she's some kind of alien from outer space and I'd be thinking of the book as being something quite different from what it actually is. But again... not sure what to suggest as an alternative.

    :)
    Michael

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    1. Good point, I will be bringing all these ideas to the attention of my sister tomorrow. Thanks for the comment!

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  6. Lisa,

    I haven't read your book, but I also wonder about the word average. Michael makes a good point about "the discovery that she is something other than human." That also leads me to think of aliens from outer space.

    Sunni

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    1. Thanks for your seconding it lol! I will be critiquing your chapter tomorrow!

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  7. Hmmm... you actually refer to Stevie's other-humanly aspect twice just before that line. How about something like this:

    "Stevie accidently heals a stranger with a touch. As new abilities surface, she learns that a group of weirdly powerful strangers known as the Rebellion killed her birth father and are now after her."

    Dunno if the weirdly powerful part is needed.

    - MJM

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  8. Hey Lisa,

    You've summed it up pretty nicely. I did take the liberty of copying it off to show you my suggestions and will send it to you. There were a couple of places that I thought might use some punch.

    Robin

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